Co-Parenting & Divorce
Screen time can spark more than just developmental concerns—it can ignite real conflict between co-parents. With smartphones and tablets now part of daily life, deciding when (or if) to introduce screens to babies and toddlers has become a hot-button issue. Understanding expert guidance and development research can help both parents focus on what matters most: making healthy, informed decisions for their child.
When it comes to screen time, your baby’s best interests come first—even when you and your ex don’t see eye to eye.
Concerns about how much screen time is appropriate for children have been a matter of discussion for decades, initially focusing on whether kids were spending too much time watching TV. However, the relatively recent introduction and ubiquity of portable, user-friendly devices such as smartphones and tablets has multiplied both the availability of screens and the number of situations in which using one might displace the traditional play and interactions that are vital for early childhood development. Parents have been confronted with a growing number of decisions to make on when, how, or even whether screen time should be permitted for their children.
This is especially true with co-parents managing screen time guidelines for babies and toddlers, where expert recommendations can differ and emotions often run high. This, unfortunately, makes questions of screen time a fertile ground for co-parenting disputes. Often, one parent is willing or even eager to introduce screen time to their baby, while the other is more hesitant—or even adamant that it shouldn’t be allowed at all. As with all co-parenting decisions, ideally such choices should be guided by what is best for the child. Understanding what research has revealed about the effects of screen time on baby and toddler development, what experts say about how and when screens should be introduced, and how to approach the issue as co-parents can help reduce conflicts as parents navigate these early years.
The Science Behind Limiting Screen Time for Infants and Toddlers
Children change rapidly from birth to age five, marked by the significant developmental milestones they pass through as they gain more complex motor, language, cognitive, and social-emotional skills. As babies and toddlers grow and mature, they learn through movement, exploring their environment, interacting and communicating with their caregivers, and active play.
Research has shown that excessive screen time in infants and very young children has clear, troubling effects on key areas of development. One paper that reviewed multiple studies on how screen time influences children’s language development concluded “that an increase in the amount of screen time and the early age of onset of viewing has negative effects on language development, especially for the children under the age of two.” Another similar study found that increased screen time for children under five was “typically associated with poorer cognitive and language development … possibly owing to displacement of parent-child interactions and reduced quantity and quality of child play.”
More screen time is also associated with increased behavioral problems in preschoolers and poorer motor skills. A 2022 study even documented, through the use of MRI scans, that higher digital media use produced physical changes in the brains of 3- to 5-year-olds, with underdevelopment in regions associated with “higher-order functions such as top-down attention, complex memory encoding, letter recognition and social cognition.”
Best Practices for Baby Screen Exposure
In light of these types of research findings, it is little wonder that screen time is not advised for very young children. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends no screen time for infants from zero to 18 months, and only a limited introduction to high-quality educational media for babies from 18 to 24 months, with a parent or a caregiver viewing it with them to discuss and reteach what they are learning. (The one exception for younger babies is video chatting with family along with parents, and again only on a very limited basis.) From ages 2 to 5, screen time should last no more than one hour per day, and include media that is “interactive, nonviolent, educational, and pro-social.” Again, parents should be viewing this media alongside their children rather than allowing solo viewing.
Instead of relying on screens to provide entertainment or learning, activities for babies and toddlers should give them opportunities to move, explore, interact, and engage their minds to foster their developmental growth. This can be as simple as playing with blocks, reading a book together, dancing to age-appropriate music, or taking a walk through your neighborhood and talking about what you see on the way. Fortunately, it is easy to find suggestions for screen-free activities by searching online—many websites, blogs, and parenting books are available to provide inspiration as children grow.
Managing Screen Time for Babies and Toddlers as Co-Parents
Creating an effective co-parenting strategy for managing screen time for the youngest children starts by recognizing that it is a concern that should be addressed proactively, rather than waiting until conflicts arise. How much screen time will be allowed at what age, and even the types of media permitted, can and should be addressed in a mutually agreed upon parenting plan that is part of the divorce agreement. Keeping the discussions focused on what research supports, as well as professional guidelines such as the AAP screen time recommendations, can prevent negotiations from devolving into an argument over each parent’s personal preferences.
It may also be helpful to address situations in which the daily routines can be altered; for example, if one parent is flying a long distance with a toddler, both may agree that it is acceptable to put an extra episode of Sesame Street or Bluey on the iPad to keep them happy and calm while on the plane. Overall, the focus should be on what is best for the child’s well-being.
Establishing expectations for what screen time is permissible at what age also sets clear boundaries and accountability for each household. In the best-case scenario, both parents will comply, and their children will enjoy continuity in how screen time is treated no matter which house they’re currently in. If one parent flagrantly refuses to follow the parenting plan, though, having an agreement in place can help give the other parent a more solid footing with which to go back to the court to have those restrictions on screen time enforced. Working with an experienced family law attorney can help ensure that the original parenting plan is both thorough and detailed and provide needed insight into the right course of action to enforce its terms if necessary.
Expert Family Law Representation for Child Custody Issues in Silicon Valley
Co-parents may often not see eye to eye on much except wanting their shared children to be happy and healthy, but that doesn’t necessarily prevent them from working together effectively. When you need to devise parenting plans on hot-button issues like screen time, the experienced family law attorneys at Hoover Krepelka will work tirelessly to keep your child’s best interest at the center of discussions and to help enforce the agreements that are meant to protect their well-being. To schedule a consultation, fill out the form below today.
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FAQS
How much screen time is safe for a baby or toddler?
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends avoiding screens (other than video chatting) for children under 18 months, and limiting screen time to one hour of high-quality programming per day for toddlers aged 2 to 5.
What if co-parents disagree about screen use for young children?
Disagreements are common, so aim for open conversations focused on the child’s well-being, and try to agree on shared guidelines to maintain consistency across households.
What are the alternatives to screen time for infants and toddlers?
Simple activities like reading, playing with toys, exploring outside, singing, and talking support brain development and offer healthy engagement without screens.